So many twists and turns.
I have known I have felt like an empty shell for a few years. Wasn't quite sure what form I should take.
I have been lost in a few quotes, people, ideals, challenges and quests.
Essentially I should be grateful with my lot that I have loving and kind husband (despite our differences) and two beautiful happy inspiring children. What more could I want?
Well I am mostly a greedy materialistic person who thinks the grass is greener on the other side of the fence and that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Yesterday I realised that not all of that is necessary. That a lot of the experiences of the past few years have hindered not nurtured me.
I am taking note of some pearls of wisdom I preached to a new friend. Stop letting the dust settle on me and suffocate what is the real me. Stop searching for words and quotes that will prophesise or fulfill.
I have a heart of gold but feel I am underloved, undervalued and unappreciated. Ok, kick butt and resolve.
I have been seeking what I need in the wrong corners, and most of the time the answer has been there in front of me. But I have overlooked it, undervalued it and unappreciated it in my selfish search for more of what I can't have or think I need.
Yes, riddles and rhymes here.
I have blamed my past for things I don't have or I am not. Well, let's unburden me of that negative albatross and set me on a path which makes that history fade and become inconsequential.
The quote above is that destiny. The path will be walked,run skipped and/or jumped, hand in hand, with true dear friends who also share my passion for charity, living, living life to the full, and sharing it with those that care. We nurture and support each other and become stronger for others.
I am Me; I am what I create myself to be, not what I was born to be. I am Me because of You. You are the true friend who stands by me to support me with critique, hugs, humour, tears, comfort, teamwork and unconditional friendship. And it is shared and valued both ways.
People have walked into my life for a variety of reasons. Some for selfish gain, some for misguided reasons.. but most don't stay because they can't give a quality unconditonal friendship both ways.
If You have stayed then it's You I should like to hug and thank for being there. Let's enjoy our journeys together.
I have left behind the empty shell. I am addressing my issues, my problems, my skeletons.
Today I become the real Me.